I know I posted the video in my last post, but I want to post the updated one Roger did because it is so much more powerful. You can definitely tell that this Spirit drawing is Andrew when you actually see Andrew speak, then see his pic side by side the drawing. Anytime you feel out of sorts, watch this video, it should sort your energy right out! Enjoy!

IT’S ALL GOOD!

So this past week coming up to Andrew’s birthday, I told him I wanted a present from him. I mean, since I can’t get him one, there’s no reason why someone shouldn’t get a present on his birthday, right? And why not ME!? I’m his PrettyMama, I carried him inside me. Not that I’d use that against him, ok, I kinda am, but I don’t care, you work with what ya got!

All week I pondered what he would do for me, like what kind of kick ass thing would he get or do for me. What does an Avatar on the Other Side get for his PrettyMama on this side for his birthday? Well he delivered it! He didn’t turn on his faerie light, and yes he has heard about that one, but he did something pretty kick ass regardless!

We met a psychic who lives in London named Roger Hanson at the Juicy U conference in Boca Raton Fl., where we spoke a few weeks ago. He does Spirit drawings, and spoke on the last day of the conference. He will draw your Guide or who ever wants to come through, as well as give you messages in the drawing.

Before Roger came over from London for his Florida tour he did a promotional video of doing a Spirit drawing in January for his monthly newsletter. When he was done, he said that the Spirit was a young man who had passed from cancer. No one claimed him on his email list. Roger then figured that the young man belonged to someone in Florida since that was where he was going. Well, no one claimed him on his Florida tour either. He didn’t mention the drawing in the talk he did in Boca, he talked about Soul Plans, which was very interesting.

Roll forward to today, Andrew’s 21st birthday, and I get an IM from Roger on Facebook. He told me that he might be over stepping a line, but he was getting nudged to contact us. He had something he wanted to share with us because he thought it might be from our son. He sent me a link to the video he taped in January. Watch it here.

As the video unfolds, the tears start to well up and fall down my cheek as I realize this indeed IS my Muck! I let Roger know that, YES! We claim him! That’s our boy! Roger said we could call him so he could tell us what it was like bringing him through. We called him and we were able to sort out what Luke, the 5th, meant and possibly Sean. The others were obvious to us. Roger said that the love that came through as he did the drawing was amazing, it filled the room. Sounds like our Muck!

When I was watching the video, I wasn’t sure what the above words meant at first, but the three of us together were able to figure it out. The 5th is three things, first, it’s the 5th birthday that Andrew hasn’t been here, May is the 5th month, and Oct 22, 2012 is Andrew’s 5th anniversary of his journey Home. Luke is the name we gave to the chemo bear Andrew got while in hospital. Martin remembered that while we were talking to Roger. Andrew was telling Martin that Luke was a funny story and that was it. I know, how is a chemo bear funny? Well we thought it was funny that the bear had patches of hair that came off and Andrew had patches of hair that did not. Don’t be judgin! You spend 4 months on a children’s cancer floor and see what you find funny. You might be surprised. Then again, it could be just us that look for the humor in everything. Roger also said Luke was for leukemia now that he thinks back on it. As far as the Sean, we have a good friend name Sean but spelled Shaun. Since it was the Gaelic spelling of it, and Andrew met Shaun in Ireland, that possibly that could be it. Time will tell.

Roger said the “No Fear” then “Passage” had to do with not fearing crossing over. We all know I’m not! I’ll be skippin my way over there with a big ole grin on my face and a “peace out bitches” attitude! Martin and I thought it could also be about the time Andrew’s O.T. Adele wrote “No Fear Zone” on his white board in his hospital room, and he corrected it when he woke up by saying his room was a courage zone. I think there is several messages in it to be honest.

Not only did Andrew give me that drawing for his birthday, Roger also had a message for us from Andrew… “I love you both so much. our hearts are forever bonded. you are both as bright on the earth plane, as i am on the non-physical plane. and i cherish you from ‘here’ as much as you cherish me from ‘there.’ ”

I have to say, my boy came through for me and made his 21st birthday a special one thanks to Roger following his guidance. Roger is sending us the picture and it will be framed and hung in Andrew’s room! We also enjoyed our steakie goodness at Longhorn’s with Kaliana, Elatia and Daniel.

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!
IT’S ALL GOOD!

PS if you want to see the updated version of this video, it’s in the post after this one. It has Andrew speaking. Click on the “blog home” link to see all posts.  Plz feel free to share this video!

Steakie Goodness Time!

This birthday is a little harder for me this year, with it being a big one. Not having family around to celebrate with us does make it harder. When I think of the birthday bash that would be thrown for him in Ireland, it increases the loneliness for me here. It’s hard to go through something so tough with no family around to soften the blow. BUT we will carry on as we always do.

While there won’t be a party this year for our Muck, most of Andrew’s friends have moved away. But we WILL still celebrate his 21st b-day with the traditional steakie goodness dinner at his fav place Long Horn’s, with his now fav friend Daniel, since he is the only one who called Andrew’s Pretty Mama, his fav niece Kaliana, his fav parents, & with his fav sister as our server. I miss his excitement that he always had for his birthdays and I know he would of had it for this one too! The big 21!

This day started off hard, BUT my Muck delivered for me today in a big way! He just gave me a present! A very cool and beautiful present! But you’ll have to wait to see it if you’re not my facebook friend because I have to start getting ready to celebrate my Prince’s 21st birthday!

Once again, Andrew proved…
IT’S ALL GOOD!

Martin had an appointment with immigration today, we have to do this every 10 years. Yup! I married an alien, minus the green skin and antennas! The immigration office is in Tampa and we had to pass by the exit for All Children’s Hospital. We twitch a little every time we have to go by that exit. On the way back from immigration, we said we would stop by ACH since we got out so early from his appointment. As we got closer to the exit we both were having second thoughts, “are we ready for this?” “Are we going to be able to handle this?” But we’re not ones to back down from an uncomfortable situation.

I almost went passed the exit thinking we could do this another time, but I felt strongly guided that we needed to go, so I nervously made the turn onto Exit 22. I know, right? There’s that 22 again. I couldn’t believe how unfamiliar it felt trying to get there. I wasn’t sure which street to take. I know the hospital is new but it is on the same street as the old one. I was kind of surprised how much I didn’t remember about how the streets ran. I finally found a spot to park hoping I’d remember how to get out of there because it’s all one ways.

When we got in the lobby of ACH, I had to take a deep breath because I could feel the tears wanting to come. I could feel my insides starting to tremble at the thought of being here again. I was fascinated by this. I can’t even imagine how it would have been if we had gone to the old hospital, seeing Andrew’s old rooms and all. Not sure I would have kept my composure. I wasn’t sure if I was going to if I saw one of our fav nurses right away. Well, it took a bit of time to find anyone we knew anyway. We were eased into it thankfully.

First we met up with Ellen, we didn’t have her as a nurse too much, but I remembered her, and she eventually remembered us. I don’t expect the ones we didn’t interact with much to remember us after 4 1/2 yrs, they see so many kids. All we have to say is Andrew Jordan’s parents and the light bulb goes on. Andrew definitely left an impression.

We saw Jean, the one nurse that Andrew asked me if he stuttered, after she left his room because she asked him how he was, and he said AWESOME! And Jean told him that he didn’t have to say that if he didn’t mean it. He was quite upset that she would question him! LOL I’m sure it’s hard for a lot of people to believe that any kid could be that happy and positive on his own while going through aggressive leukemia treatment. But that was all him baby! He was the one teaching us how to be that way then and still is now!

Eventually we saw nurse Shawn. You remember? Our first day on the second floor we had the Nurse Shawn and Dawn show? LOL He is a case manager now, Dawn is now working in the Sickle Cell office across from the hospital, and was out sick or we would have gone over. When Shawn saw us he started laughing & came towards us and gave us big hugs! It felt so good to hug someone that was in the trenches with us. Soon after, Pastor Dave showed up with a pleasantly surprised shocked look on his face. Great hugs ensued again. I know these people have to set boundaries in order to do their job well, but they meant the world to us because they were right there with us in the trenches going through the toughest time in our lives. It felt good to connect with even a few of them again. I’m not gonna lie, it was bittersweet.

Shawn showed me where the old hospital WAS! They knocked it down 6 months ago, they are putting a park there. He also showed me the view of Tampa Bay you can see from the 7th floor that is the leukemia ward now. Each child has their own room now and I am happy to say I didn’t see a lot of kids! I wish we could have been at that hospital instead! I remember saying to Andrew while we were there,”Dude! Seriously? You couldn’t have waited a year or so for all of this? We could have our own room in the new hospital if you could have of just waited!” We both laughed.

I spent most of my time talking with Shawn sharing our fav funny Andrew stories. Martin spent most of his time talking with Dave. I joined Martin and Dave after awhile because Shawn had to get back to work. It was a beautiful time with both of them, but there was a real emotional moment with Dave. Shawn told me how much courage it took for us to come back there. He said he wouldn’t ever come back if he had to deal with what we did. I really didn’t think about it that way, but I guess it did take a lot of courage considering it wasn’t an easy decision to go back.

Dave took a moment to thank us for staying together because he has seen how a trauma like this not only breaks up marriages but also breaks down people. It genuinely brought him joy to see that we were still going strong. It brought tears to his eyes. Just knowing that even Martin and I still being together has made a difference in someone’s life makes us feel good. Like what we do really does matter. You just never know how you will effect someone. It’s usually in the smallest of things that have the biggest effects.

We had to say our goodbyes since Shawn and Dave had to get back to work. There was a part of me that didn’t want to leave, I know! Ironic huh? I instead wanted to hunt down more people we knew since we were already there, but we needed to go. Martin and I are glad we went. It was very healing and did bring me a peace to me as Andrew’s 21st birthday is upon us.

So we bit the bullet and took another layer off of our grieving process. And because we did…

IT’S ALL GOOD!

Andrew knows I am having a hard time and he is doing his best to help me snap out of it. He sends me signs all of the time as if to say, in his infinite way, “Hey Pretty Mama! How’s it going? I’m still here!” Or he reminds me of something funny to make me laugh. When ever we are going to do an event with him, I can’t even begin to tell you how many 22′s we see. It’s crazy! Every other car’s license plate I notice has a 22 in it. It’s his way of letting us know, “I’m right there with ya!”

The other night I was rocking Kaliana to sleep in her room at our house. I have the gentle music station on for her. I love to feel her close to my heart as I hold her. There is something so sacred and peaceful about rocking your grand baby, the closeness, the bond of a Grammy and her grandchild, it’s so special the way I feel as I am rocking her. It stirs something deep within me as a grandparent. I relax too as I rocked her, I’m listening to the music, and also missing Andrew, what can I say, I like to multi-task. *sigh* I then get a gentle nudge to look over at the TV and what is the name of the song playing? “It’s All Good,” Andrew’s favorite saying. What year did the song come out? 2007. For those that may not remember or know, 2007 is when Andrew was diagnosed and passed. What is the name of the CD? “Gardens Of Hope.” It made me smile because I could feel Andrew’s loving energy surround me and Kaliana, and I knew he was working on cheering me up. I love when he does that.

We had an event this weekend, and that always helps me focus on who Andrew is now when Martin and I get to work with him. It is so much fun and enlightening when we do these mediumship events. It is an honor to bring the audience’s loved ones through with healing messages of love. It is so beautiful as you can see the layers pain melt away. It doesn’t mean it’s all gone, but at least layers have been peeled away. I am humbled to be a part of such an amazing experience.

Martin and I booked a hotel because a 90 min drive home didn’t make sense when we had to be back there the next morning for personal readings. We get back to the hotel and Martin says he’s going down to get a soda. As he said that, I said “soda” with air quotes because I figured he was going to smoke as well. After I did that I hear, “Moooon Flowwwers.” I started laughing. Martin wanted to know what the hell was I laughing so hard at. I told him, between laughing, because it caught me so off guard, that as I said, “soda” I heard, “Moooon Flowwwers” with air quotes. Martin starts laughing hysterically along with me. He’s bent over from laughing so hard.

Why? I hear you ask? Here’s why, and it might just be a family joke that no one else gets, but I’m sharing it anyway. It was Andrew trying to make me laugh and mission accomplished! When he was 11yo, our cousin Chrissy from Ireland was living with us for 6 months. Her and I would obnoxiously use air quotes all of the time. Andrew tried it once and it was so funny because he didn’t understand why or when to use air quotes. When he tried, it was for a commercial for a local business called Moon Flowers. He used the air quotes for “Moon Flowers” and would say it in a sarcastic way, so it was now, “Mooon Flowwwers.” He thought he was being so clever on how to use air quotes. Chrissy and I lost it! We laughed so hard when he did that. We would use his “Moooon Flowwwers” to make fun of Andrew too if he did something silly. Kinda like Dr. Evil with his “tracker beams.” Oh yeah, we would also use that one sarcastically too!

It has been years since I had thought about that, so when I heard Andrew in my head that night saying “Moooon Flowwwers” like he use to do, after my “soda” comment, I LMAO! It felt really good to have all 3 of us laughing together again, like we use to do over silly stuff. It was like old times, just in a new way.

I just love that boy of mine! My Muck is always there to remind me…

“It’s Alllll Goooood!” =D

People like the idea of being our friends or working with us. They see how happy we are, our positive energy, and the fact that we laugh A LOT, even after losing our son. People love being in our home, as modest as it is, because of the energy. But what we are finding is that some people tend to drop like flies if they are in our energy for any length of time. You can’t be around us and be sitting in your shit, that is one thing I know for sure! Because if you are, and you’re trying to hide it, the PureHeart energy will shine a big ole bright light on it and bring it up in your face to deal with! It’s not something we do consciously, it just sorta happens. People that are authentic and don’t hide behind any facades, do just fine in our energy.

The big ole light is for your own good and spiritual growth, but a lot of people prefer the status quo, or as I like to put it, enjoying the view from INSIDE their colon. That one may take a second, think about it, you’ll get it.

For instance, on Martin’s blog when he wrote about how many Lightworkers are dung beetles. They just love pushing their dung around and will even fight to keep it if another beetle tries to take it! Sounds funny, I know, but that is what we have witnessed time and time again!

Of course we have also heard the all to played out, “but it’s hard!” No shit! Healing old dysfunctional patterns of generations past, so you can be a better person is hard! It’s effin hard! We know! We’ve actually done the work! Dealing with the grief over losing the physical presence of your child is REALLY effin hard! We…know…hard!

We are finding that the PureHeart energy is just too intense for some people. It’s one thing to have a session with Martin and PureHeart because people want the healing, they are open to it, but to actually try and be around in this energy all of the time? A lot of people don’t have the “chutzpah” for it. I guess because Martin and I raised this energy, our son now called PureHeart, and we helped his energy move on to his Higher purpose, we don’t feel the intensity of it like most people do. It just feels normal for us. Then again we have always done the work to heal old patterns that aren’t working for us. We don’t try to hide them, push them down, pretend they don’t exist, we face them head on and DEAL with them. *gasp* What a concept!

Does that make us perfect? NOPE! Not even a little bit. We will be healing stuff the rest of our lives, especially the grief over losing Andrew’s beautiful physical presence at 16yo. Healing is a life long healing process, I realized that in my early 20′s when I had a wee melt down at work one night. Nothing major like collapsing on the floor in a puddle of my own tears and snotters, nothing Oscar worthy. Just some tears over a tv news piece about a daycare in Miami abusing the children there, it really got to me. It hurt me to think that these kids had gone through similar abuse that I did. I was devastated for them. I thought when I had healed a lot of my childhood abuse, no one else would have to go through it again. Oh if it only worked that way! I was young and naive.

That is when I realized healing is done in layers, and over time, and that’s ok, as long as we heal them as they bubble to the surface. Let’s face it, if we tried to heal everything all at once, we’d explode! But if we try to push them down and try to ignore them, they will pop up in the most creative of ways. That I promise you!

One of the many things I have learned about healing is, the past is NOT the past until you heal it! Pretending it never happened just sets you up to repeat it over and over and over and over and over (am I making my point?) again.

Soooo, if you want to hang around with us or work with us, be prepared to heal! And if you’re not ready, then WARNING! The objects are more intense than they appear!

IT’S ALL GOOD!

We just got back Monday night from a long weekend in Ft Lauderdale and Boca Raton working, if you can call it that. We did what makes our heart sing and feeds our soul, you can hardly call that work. Not when working with Andrew, and he was a busy guy this past weekend! A lot of people got to meet him in their own way. It was a very exciting and enlightening time over there. Every time we go over, we have a fantastic time. Who knew? We couldn’t wait to get the hell outta that area and move to the West Coast of FL! Now this is where everything is starting to fall into place for us. Again, who knew? Mind boggling really. Never would I have thought that we would find so much support in our mission on the East Coast of Florida!

Well, Andrew isn’t just taking things and putting them back, now he is sending number signs to me big time. You would think with Martin being the phenomenal medium that he is, and the fact that we gave Andrew the environment to be who he came here to be, and the fact that Andrew is an Avatar that, that would afford us some perks. Apparently not! We still have to figure things out for ourselves. Andrew won’t do the work for us. What the hell?

We were referred to another venue in Ft Lauderdale from Mary at Ocean Therapy, a venue we have done several events at, and they love us so they have no problem referring us. Mary insisted that we contact Kathryn, the owner of My Energy Place on her cell phone. We called Kathryn and she wanted us to come on by. That is when the signs really began.

As we were driving to My Energy Place, which wasn’t very far from Ocean Therapy, I see a car in front of us that has a 202 on their license plate. I knew it wasn’t just a “hello” from Andrew, I could feel it, so I start to think what the message is. Hmmm 2:02pm is when Andrew was born, so I say to him, “Ok Andrew, so is this meeting going to be the birth of something new? Give me a definite sign if I’m on the right track with this.” Then another car gets in front of us with a 202 on it’s license plate as well as I finish my sentence! Well, that’s hard to ignore, so now I have to tell Martin what I am getting.

I let Martin know that this meeting with Kathryn is apparently the birth of something new. He found that interesting. We find the building and when we get to the 2nd floor, the one office number 202 jumps out at me. I told Martin, “Ok, now he’s just yelling at me!” We chuckled at that one. If Kathryn’s office number had of been 202 I would have fainted! Hers was 205.

We go in Kathryn’s office and she says, “you’re never going to believe what happened!” I said, “try us!” Kathryn proceeds to tell us that someone was talking to her about us the night before, (felt a little famous with that one) and told her that she needed to hook up with us, then she had a dream about us last night, then we call her on her cell phone! It kinda freaked her freak. That’s how she knew she needed to meet with us ASAP. Apparently the Universe was yelling at her too!

We start chatting about Andrew and the events that we do to get his teachings out there. She wants to book several events with us. She then says the magic words, “if you were a non-profit, we could get free radio advertising and other media attention.” That is when I told her of my dream of having a non profit to help parents dealing with pediatric cancer. That’s when it got real interesting! Kathryn asks us why weren’t we a non-profit yet. I told her because we didn’t have the $700 to $800 to do it or the help. She then informs me that it’s only $70 to get a non-profit status. I believe it is then, the heavens opened up and I heard the Angels singing!

As we talked, all of us got excited about what we could do together! She has great marketing experience, great contacts and we have great shows. It’s a win/win situation! We wasted no time and applied for non-profit status the following night after the first day of the Juicy U Conference we were speaking at, with Kathryn on the phone with us talking us through it all of the way.

On Sunday at the conference, we made the announcement during our talk on how to find joy after losing a child, that we had applied for our non-profit status and why. I was blown away by the response afterward. People came to our table to let us know they wanted to work with us! It only fed our excitement.

On Monday we met with Kathryn again to tentatively set dates for events building up to the first fundraiser and PureHeart Method class. She informed us that during her meditation that morning, her Dad AND Andrew showed up holding hands letting her know that we would all be working together. We met with her for five hours discussing all kinds of ideas and stories.

So it would appear Andrew was correct, 202 was not only the birth time of his arrival here, but a definite sign of the birth arrival of something big, The PureHeart Foundation! So say tuned for more details as this unfolds!

IT’S ALL GOOD!

While we were in the hospital with Andrew, I saw a huge need for a charity that caters to feeding the parent’s souls as they help their child heal cancer. Yes there are some charities that help parents financially but there is a lot of paperwork, red tape, and you have to be really poor. They don’t get that no matter how much money you make, you are going to be poor when dealing with pediatric cancer no matter what your income! Well, except for the 1% maybe, they are the only ones this wouldn’t effect financially. If you make even $30,000 to $40,000 a year you don’t qualify for aid. SERIOUSLY? So only if you are really poor or really rich do you have financial support.

Beyond financial support there is nothing feeding the parent’s souls. We are on the front lines of this war on pediatric cancer and nothing is feeding our soul to keep the good fight up. We sleep in chairs, when we get to sleep, the Clown house is there but you don’t want to be there too long because you can’t stand being away from your child. We are there helping our children through extremely aggressive treatments, calming their fears, making them smile, helping them to the bathroom, cleaning up bedpans, changing linen when they sweat too much or vomit from the chemo, or have accidents, bathing them, measuring urine, etc etc. And we do it with a brave face so our child isn’t scared even though we are shaken to our very core with the fear of losing our beloved child, our heart. And your heart aches as you watch this savage disease not give shit about how amazing your child is as it ravages their bodies but not their spirit. Ok, even this brought tears to my eyes as I remember doing all of that and more.

This is why this foundation is my heart’s desire. I want to be able to go in and pamper the parents and feed their souls on a regular basis. Have people volunteer to give chair massages, mani/pedi’s, hair, whatever else we can do to help the parents feel normal, even if just for an hour. Having that on a regular basis would help tremendously! I had it a few times in the four months we were there and certainly could have used it a little more. With the amount of stress to deal with, parents need pampering on a regular basis so they can be better parents to their children. The children are well looked after as they should be, so should the parents too though. They need the pampering as well so they can be better parents to their children who are fighting for their lives. people would tell me to take care of myself. HOW??!!!! You can’t! You need help!

I also plan on working with the nurses, because they know the real deal of what is going on with the families. I want to ask them who needs a check for their mortgage, their electric, food etc. and just write out a check to whatever utility they need paid. I don’t need to know what they make, if they need help they need help!

Then my goal down the road is to have a retreat for parents to go to, to de-stress from hospital life, a place where they can just be themselves and not the club title they were thrown into, “cancer kid mom or cancer kid dad.” We are more than that! Living in a hospital for months at time, making life and death decisions everyday for your child has you on edge to say the least. Then you’re just thrown out into the world to deal with this horrendous ordeal you’ve been through as you try to piece your life back together with no resbit. You are a shell of a person trying to keep everything together, especially if your child passes. The retreat would be a place for parents to help make sense of their lives if their child crossed as well. Something like the Maribal Spa in Arizona, only it caters to parents dealing with pediatric cancer. I want them to be able to come and totally receive, no giving! Give them tools to deal with grief or recover from the stress of hospital life. Couples need time to be a couple again and heal. Many relationships don’t survive this trauma.

The children have Make A Wish and other charities that cater to ill children’s dreams and that is so awesome, but what about the parents? Who’s caring for them? The PureHeart Foundation that’s who! These children need and deserve healthy parents emotionally, spiritually and physically, and that’s where we come in!

To keep up on what we are doing with the Foundation and how to help, click on the link above. The link to the Foundation isn’t up yet on pureheartspace.com because it is still so new, but it will be very soon. That is where we will be putting info about the Foundation, fundraisers we have coming up etc. We are partnering with some wonderful charities, businesses and people, this is going to be HUGE! Be a part of it!

IT’S ALL GOOD!

The first thing that went missing out of the blue was his Naruto headband. He wore that in the hospital everyday. He was just so excited when he got it. I was there when he ordered it on E-Bay, and he just couldn’t wait to get it. E-Bay was his crack in the hospital, and we wanted to make sure he always had his fix! It’s the least we could do for him. He wore that headband at his FUNeral service as well, they thought it was a belt, hahaha. We had to tell them it was a headband. I know he got really skinny, but c’mon! We keep it on the arm of his meditation chair in his room on top of his green camo shorts that he always wore, even in hospital. That’s where it’s always been since he left. If we have to move it to use Andrew’s chair, we place it on his bed then replace it when we’re done.

Right before we moved Kaliana’s crib into his room so our friends Anthony and Eddie could have the back room, the headband disappeared. We looked down inside the chair, around and under his chair. The bed, pillows, dresser, closet, you name it, we looked for it. I knew none of Martin’s clients would have taken it. They have always been respectful of Andrew’s room. I was a little disappointed we couldn’t find it. But I thought maybe it was a lesson in letting go of material things so I could focus more on who Andrew is now. I thought maybe it’s also to let go of the belief that I needed things of his to feel close to him. I know I don’t need them, but I do love having them. There’s a comfort for me as a mother to have things of my child around me who has crossed over, and I honor that mother part of me yearning so bad to have my child back with me kissing me, hugging me, and calling me PrettyMama. Is that so wrong? I think not!

Four months goes by, during that time I periodically wonder what the hell happened to Muck’s headband, it was so weird how it just disappeared. But I was ok with where ever it was. I really enjoyed the boys being here, Kaliana was here on weekends, knowing Andrew is a part of our lives still, so I was being occupied with other things that brought me joy during the Naruto headband’s walk about in the ethers. I just released my ties to the headband and figured one day it would show up out of the blue like it disappeared. I was kinda looking forward to seeing how it was going to show up again because I just knew it would.

We move the crib out of Andrew’s room because we have a friend, Lisa McCourt, spending the weekend while she is on her book tour. The boys were moving out that weekend *sad face* so the crib can go back into the back bedroom. I change all the sheets on Andrew’s bed so everything got moved around, his pillows, his stuffed animals. Lisa spends the weekend, the boys move out, *I still have a sad face* but we all had a great time. Everyone leaves and Martin goes into Andrew’s bedroom to straighten up and he hears, “Look under the pillow Daddy.” He does and what does he find? You guessed it I’m sure. He finds Muck’s Naruto headband! Now I KNOW it wasn’t there before! I moved ALL those pillows around to change the pillow cases!

Still not sure what the point of all that was, but the headband is back in it’s rightful place now. *happy face*

While the headband was still on a walk about, my wedding band the Lord Of The Rings, “The One Ring” in gold goes missing. We got those when we renewed our wedding vows with a handfasting in Ireland with Doreen Virtue and Steven Farmer facilitating it in June 2003. One evening a few weeks ago, I had taken all my rings off and put them in my purse one night while out. I distinctly remember consciously putting them in my purse so I wouldn’t forget where I put them. I get home and the next day they are all there but my wedding band. *sigh* Here we go again! What am I not getting?

Again, what the hell? I wasn’t really upset because I knew it would show up, but this time I’m really interested in how because I remember exactly what I had done with my rings, so I KNOW Andrew is involved. I’m wondering if my Avatar son is some sort of klepto now, OR is he just playing with us quantum physically, getting us to really pay attention more to how quantum physics works. Only we could have an Avatar son play with us from the Other Side quantum physically to screw with us! I mean teach us. Maybe turning on the faerie light is so passay for him now, he wanted to step it up, who knows. Although he did turn on his faerie light today for me!

Well, as I was putting things together for our long weekend in Ft Lauderdale and Boca Raton to do a mediumship show, and speak at the Juicy U Conference, I pick up my PureHeart pendant that Andrew helped a friend Swati to make for me, and put it on my dresser. I wanted to have all the jewelry I wanted to bring in one place so I wouldn’t forget it. As I am looking to make sure I have everything all together, I pick up the small bubble wrap that the PH pendant is in and there is my wedding band! Are you kidding me with this? I know it couldn’t have been stuck to the bubble wrap because I had put the ring in my purse! AND I wasn’t wearing the PH pendant! Coincidence? I think NOT! This smells of a certain Avatar fo sho!

Andrew had things disappear and reappear a few more times this past weekend while we were away! This time things weren’t gone that long. Still not sure what this is all about, but we have learned, we just go with the flow and see where our Muck wants to take us. He never steers us wrong. If you have any ideas on this, please share.

IT’S ALL GOOD!

I started reading my friend Lisa McCourt’s book, “Juicy Joy” and doing some of the exercises. I am open to healing whatever needs to be healed so I can move forward with my heart’s desire, my soul’s purpose. I am so determined to figure out what the hell this pattern is of attracting people that just give us lip service and no action. Nine years of this crap is enough! We’ve got work to do dammit!

Martin, Elatia, Kaliana and I were at the quaint cafe Star Keepers tonight for the open mic. It’s a renovated 100 year old house. They have the open mic every Monday night in the back of the cafe. It has that backyard neighborhood feel to it.

While listening to the music, Martin and I were talking about possibly having to get a new car with the insurance money from an accident Martin had last week. He was rear ended and we thought all we would need is a new bumper, but the frame of the car might be very damaged as well. I LOVE my 2001 Lexus. My kids helped me pick it out for my 40th birthday, I carted Andrew and his friends all over in that car. Him and I ran errands and had the best conversations in that car. I took him home from the hospital for his six days in that car. I’m really tied to the car and the memories we created in it. Not to mention it still runs like a dream and hasn’t let me down in 11yrs.

I told Martin that I felt Andrew was telling me it was time to let go of the past and go for the new, including the car. He showed me that we have loads of stuff coming up, (I don’t have loads of stuff booked mind you) and we should have a new car to do it in. I knew Andrew was right, and he said he would be apart of getting this car too if that is what we have to do. But it doesn’t mean that I won’t cry if I have to let this car go though, it was my first luxury car.

Anyway, as Martin and I were talking about all of this, one of the singers at the open mic was singing a Dire Straits song, “Romeo and Juliette.” This singer has sung it before but this time it hits me between the eyes, or maybe the heart I should say. It’s a song Martin sang to me when I first went to Ireland to see him after 12yrs in 1988. I asked Andrew why did he hit me with this song, since we were talking about this stinkin pattern, and possibly needing a new car. Why a song from my past when trying to move forward? That is when I heard him say, “In order to move forward, sometimes you have to go back Pretty Mama.” Really? I think, “you gonna go all grasshopper/Kung Fu on me? C’mon!”

Well, yes he was! Then it hits me, Andrew brings me back to 1988 in Ireland and shows me a few things. He wanted to remind me of how I felt when I first went to Ireland. How excited I was about love and the future, before my heart got so broken. He wants me to go back and remember how open my heart was to the endless possibilities and feel that way again about my life so I can move forward.

Man! That boy is good! All of this happened in a matter of seconds under the clear, star filled sky twinkling and the trees blowing in the gentle cool breeze. It was a HUGE aha moment for me on this beautiful evening during a poignant song. It felt like such a gift! SO thank you Lisa for your “Juicy Joy” because that was indeed a juicy moment! Also Thank you Andrew! My Muck! My heart! ♥ You’re a good son! I love you!

IT’S ALL GOOD!